Another Lonely Day
by Corinne
Summary: FIN -- a contination of the story, ChrisTrish story, Loving Arms...this is Chris's point of view


Another Lonely Day by Ben Harper  
  
---Yes indeed I'm alone again  
  
and here comes emptiness crashing in  
  
it's either love or hate  
  
I can't find in between  
  
cause I've been with witches  
  
and I have been with a queen—  
  
Chris looked out of his balcony window and in the light of the moon, saw Trish and Adam walking to Adam's car in the parking lot. Apparently, Adam had decided to visit his family up in Canada and was taking Trish with him.  
  
"Trish..." He whispered softly.  
  
It had been a long while since he had allowed himself to think about Trish outside the context of friendship. But lately, as his relationship with Stacey had gotten more serious, all he could seem to think about was her...  
  
Chris sighed and turned around to look at Stacey as she slept. She was such a nice person, sweet, and pretty...but he knew that something was missing their relationship. He cared about her...a lot...more than he thought he would ever care anyone again. But he knew deep down inside that what he felt for Stacey was just compatibility...and perhaps the knowledge that she had stronger feelings for him than he ever would for her.  
  
It was the complete opposite with his relationship with Trish...  
  
He walked quietly towards his suitcase, carefully easing the zipper open and glancing over his shoulder to make sure that Stacey remained asleep.  
  
---it wouldn't have worked out any way  
  
so now it's just another lonely day  
  
further along we just may  
  
but for now it's just another lonely day---  
  
He took out a crumpled picture from a hidden pocket in his suitcase and walked back to the balcony. In the dim light, he stared down sadly at an old picture of Trish and him...back in the old days...when all he had wanted to do was be around her...and love her. But that was all so long ago. Now, as he stared down at the picture, he didn't feel that anger he used to feel...just a deep, grave, incomprehensible amount of sadness.  
  
It was a sadness that resonated through his entire being. Because he knew, that even now, years later...even the acquisition of the love of a beautiful woman hadn't diminished his feelings for Trish. It was that knowledge that scared him. Half of him wanted to tell Stacey the truth...that he would never feel the same way about her as she felt for him. There was something about Trish...something unintelligible that he still couldn't understand to this day. It was as if she had some spell over him...a spell that maybe she didn't even know she had, that just made him want to be with her. But he was stronger now...maybe not strong enough to erase his feelings, but strong enough to know that he had to stay away from her.  
  
---wish there was something  
  
I could say or do  
  
I can resist anything  
  
but temptation from you  
  
but I'd rather walk alone  
  
than chase you around  
  
I'd rather fall myself  
  
than let you drag me down---  
  
She was his one true weakness. And he never wanted to feel that weakness ever again. Perhaps she was right when she had broken up with him...they wouldn't have worked out...but then again maybe not.  
  
---it wouldn't have worked out any way  
  
and now it's just another lonely day  
  
further along we just may  
  
but for now it's just another lonely day---  
  
He would never know. And part of him didn't want to know. All the time that had passed since Trish and him were together...the only good that he had derived from that was the knowledge of distance. Distance from all the things that he had loved her...and the chance to tell himself that she had changed, that she wasn't the same woman he had loved so long ago. He still loved her as a friend, but as far as being in love with her...he was now able to convince himself superficially that those feelings...if not reciprocated couldn't be true. But deep inside himself, he knew that he still loved...  
  
---yesterday seems like a life ago  
  
cause the one I love  
  
today I hardly know  
  
you I held so close in my heart oh dear  
  
grow further from me  
  
with every fallen tear---  
  
As he held the picture in his hands, he took a deep breath. He looked over at Stacey...knew that safety and comfort lay with her...the passion and love --- He shook his head.  
  
"No." He vowed silently. He wouldn't be weak again...he wouldn't. He was better off alone than be with Trish. And with Stacey...it really was like being alone because she didn't know him. She loved him...but didn't understand him. But that was one of Stacey's finer points...she wasn't deep enough to lose oneself in. Trish on the other hand...no one had ever known him the way Trish had. Perhaps that was her true power over him...she knew him. Really knew him. She always seemed to know how he felt, without him ever having to reveal it himself. But as far as he knew her...she had always been a mystery. A mystery that he used to want to spend the rest of his life discovering and God willing, he'd be strong enough to avoid falling into the trap again. His hands shook as he picked up a matchbook off of the balcony table. This was it...he was going to let her go. As he held up a lit match on the corner of the picture a rough wind suddenly blew in...extinguishing the lit match. He reached again for another match...but something forced himself to pause before he struck the match. A cloud shifted away from the moon and the brighter light made him glance down at the picture again...her smiling eyes drew him in...drowning him.  
  
He ran a finger lightly on the shadows over her face in the picture and closed his eyes...in his minds eye he could see her smile...and he could still feel her skin...so smooth and so perfect. He breathed in deep and shook his head.  
  
No---tonight wouldn't be the night. He looked sadly at Stacey's sleeping form...he knew he couldn't do it. His feelings for Trish emerged once more, forcing him to be aware of with the pale shadow of emotion that he felt for Stacey.  
  
---it wouldn't have worked out any way  
  
so now it's just another lonely day  
  
further along we just may--  
  
The realization unsettled him...but wasn't really surprising. He walked slowly and quietly back into the hotel room, folding the picture in his hand once more. He carefully eased it into the pocket of his suitcase, and then walked to the bed, staring down at Stacey's sleeping form. He gently brushed her hair away from her delicate features and smiled forlornly as she sighed in her sleep and trustingly leaned her face towards his hand.  
  
--but for now it's just another lonely day--  
  
He knew then that he would have to let her go. It wasn't right...she deserved to have someone love her the way that he loved Trish. He eased down next to her on the bed and held her tightly, knowing that it was what she wanted from him...the knowledge of his decision was a heavy burden in his heart as he listened to Stacey, softly breathing in her sleep. This was the last night he would hold her and he could only hope that someday, Stacey would forgive him and find the love that he knew she was worthy of. A love that for him...proved to be with the one woman, he had vowed he would never return to.  
  
****ok I guess there could be more to this story...let me know what you guys think! 


End file.
